With Comments Like These, Who Needs Flames?

Below are words from a someone commenting on a trans-related news item from a mainstream news provider in a netosphere that is not far, far away:

This is where I start to struggle. As a member of the "straight" community (and I really don't subscribe to the idea of us being different "communities", but I can't find a better word), events like "Gay Pride" and "Tranny of the Year" are just ways for the transgender "community" to scream out to the rest of us "Hey - look at us - we're different!". Surely this just builds barriers.

My point is that we should strive, as a society, for transgender people to blend in with the rest of society. I remember the story of an elderly relative of mine who decided that the time had come for her to sell her family home and to move into a purpose-built flat for her old age. Initially she was horrified when she discovered that the man who was buying her old house was black!. However, she found him to be very charming (her words), and after he moved in he invited her round for tea. She was taken aback even more when he introduced her to his male partner! It was a very quick education for a very conservative old lady and she now has two new friends.

Aaaaand, my response. Let's take it point by point:

As a member of the "straight" community...

Meaning you are not a member of the group of people you are about to talk about.

...and I really don't subscribe to the idea of us being different "communities", but I can't find a better word...

The idea of a queer community, and indeed the reality of it, was shaped by the forces of heteronormative society. You may not "subscribe" to the idea, but you can at least try to engage with the lived experience of the people who are most affected by it.

...events like "Gay Pride" and "Tranny of the Year" are just ways for the transgender "community" to scream out to the rest of us "Hey - look at us - we're different!".

Neither the news article in question nor any other comment to it discussed any event called "Tranny of the Year". And given that "tranny" is a bigoted slur not likely to show up in any event run by the trans community, it's an interesting word choice you're using there. Also, Gay Pride is by no means merely a way for the trans community to say (or scream) anything, much less "we're different". You are reeking of preconceived notions here,and I don't like any of them.

My point is that we should strive, as a society, for transgender people to blend in with the rest of society.

And my point is that you don't get to dictate what other people do. You're not trans, you're not queer, you don't understand the notion of queer community or Pride - you are not the one whose voice is crucial here. And you do not understand that your voice is not crucial, specifically because the straight community you don't believe in, aka Heteronormative Society, aka the Dominant Majority, tells you that your voice IS the one that matters, that it always matters, on any subject, in any situation. Otherwise you might conceive the radical notion that the trans community's thoughts and wishes regarding their place in society should be listened to. Maybe even central to the discourse.

[Personal anecdote with no real bearing on the subject]

The apparent message here is that prejudice is overcome by being charming to elderly ladies. No comment, except to say that bothering to tell this story the way you did emphasizes both your unthinking assumption of privilege, and your lack of comprehension of the issues.

And now the big reveal. The story this comment was appended to was about Bill C-389, which would add gender identity and gender expression to the Canadian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code. Read over the comment with that in mind, and see if it doesn't add a bit of dimension to the attitudes on display.